Celebrating Christmas (no more "Bah! Humbug!")

As Christmas approaches once again, I'm digging deeper into the gospel accounts of Jesus' birth - deeper than in prior years, learning line upon line, precept upon precept.  There's no better way to prepare your heart for Christmas.  It's so easy to get distracted, and caught up in the busyness, and all the things "to do" during this season.  For many years, I honestly couldn't wait for Christmas to be over - December 26th was my favorite day of the year!  I'd feel such relief from stress on that day - I'd wake up feeling like the weight of the world had been lifted off my shoulders.  That's what the world, and materialism, and maybe our own expectations, have made of the holiday.  But it doesn't have to be that way.  And I'm not talking about "getting organized" - I've tried so many different methods and gimmicks in order to have that "perfect" holiday... 

It doesn't work.

No, the best way to get ready for Christmas is to spend some time in the first two chapters of both Matthew and Luke.  Read and study those passages.  Go back in time over 2,000 years to the tiny nation of Israel, which was under the thumb and oppression of the mighty Roman Empire, where something was stirring...something was going on... whispers in the night... angels... miraculous events... scandal... magi... murder... a star...

The nation of Israel is God's chosen people.  He chose Abraham to be the father of that nation, another 2,000 years farther back.  He led Abraham to the land of Canaan, the Promised Land, which He gave to him and his descendants, a land flowing with milk and honey.  And even though Abraham and his wife, Sarah, had no children, and were well past the childbearing years, Abraham believed God when He told him he would have as many descendants as there were stars in the heavens.  Abraham believed God, and it was counted to him as righteousness.  God promised Abraham many things, but the greatest promise was that through him, through Abraham, all the families of the earth would be blessed.  ALL the families of the earth!  All of us!  God would send the Messiah, the Christ, the Savior - through His chosen people. 

God led His people into Egypt to survive a famine, and out of Egypt, out of slavery, over 400 years later.  God led His people THROUGH the Red Sea, through the wilderness, in spite of their stubborness - all the way back to the Promised Land.  And when they turned against Him, and did exactly what He told them not to do, and worshipped other gods, false gods and man-made idols...He sent His prophets to them, to warn them, that their unfaithfulness would not go unpunished.  But they didn't listen.  He allowed them to be conquered and taken away to foreign lands.  But He led some back - to rebuild - and they rebuilt the wall of Jerusalem, and rebuilt their temple...  Through all of this, His prophets spoke His words to His people.  But then, after Malachi, the last Old Testament prophet...there was silence. 

For 400 years, there was no prophet, no word from God, no consolation, no comforting, no word. 

Just silence.

And then...it was time.

God sent His messenger, His angel, Gabriel, to deliver a message to a priest named Zacharias.  And what a message it was!  Oh my Goodness, the story's just getting started...


Now the Lord said to Abram,
   "Go forth from your country,
     And from your relatives
    And from your father's house,
    To the land which I will show you;
    And I will make you a great nation,
    And I will bless you,
    And make your name great;
    And so you shall be a blessing;
    And I will bless those who bless you,
    And the one who curses you I will curse.
    And in you all the families of the earth will be blessed."
(Genesis 12:1-3)

"Let the Children Come"

It has certainly been like a roller-coaster ride these past few days. Up and down, off and on. Today has been mostly off for some reason. It didn't start out well...woke up with a terrible headache, really painful lower back, stiff and sore joints - moving was not easy or pleasant.

But, Backyard Bible Club (BBC) started this morning, and I'm teaching the Bible lessons, so I took my meds (plus a couple of Aleve), and stumbled out the door. Once there, it gets so busy, and it's so much fun interacting with the kids, and getting to know them, I don't remember feeling bad - all I remember is having a very dry mouth, and needing water a lot. (Dry mouth is a side effect of several PD meds.)

One little girl really got to me. She's around four or five years old, and she's very articulate! :) She's got blond hair, and she's a beautiful little girl, with a sweet, sweet smile and disposition. But when I asked the kids if they had ever baked a cake or brownies with their moms, she said, very matter of factly, "Oh, my mom doesn't like me." I thought maybe I'd heard her wrong, so I asked her to repeat it. Sure enough, I'd heard it right the first time.

She didn't cry or pout, she wasn't dramatic about it, she wasn't looking for sympathy or attention - she was just stating a fact. "My mom does not like me."

If we can do something good for this little girl, if we can shower her with love, for five days anyway, and plant the seed of truth in her heart that God loves her so much and she is precious in His sight...if we could do that for all the children who come...I'll be there.

"Permit the children to come to Me; do not hinder them; for the kingdom of God belongs to such as these."
(Mark 10:14)

Diving In...

I know this is something my Heavenly Father wants me to do. I know it. Why is it so hard to do? Time - for sure. I'm so behind on everything in my life - how in the world am I going to fit this in, too? And then, there's my perfectionist tendencies - once I get the house cleaned up, and my life in order...I'll sit down at my computer with a nice, cold soda, surrounded by cleanliness and order, and write the wittiest, most inspiring, grammatically correct blogs...

Hah! Dream on!

No, if I'm ever going to actually do this consistently, I'm just going to have to do it...in the midst of a mess, off the top of my head, and as openly and honestly as possible.

Why? Because people with PD need to share the journey...because people without PD need to know a little bit of what it's like...but most of all, because in the midst of this mess of a disease, I'm learning what faith really is, and I want to share the hope that I have in Jesus, and what He is teaching me through the Bible, God's holy word.

Until next time, hopefully tomorrow,

Janet

Changes

We had choir practice tonight - getting ready for the Easter cantata. And it happened again - I just can't play some of the passages. It's only 4 notes at a time, SATB - I'm only playing the choir notes for them as they practice. And if it goes too fast, or gets complicated (lots of accidentals)...I can't get through it. Sightreading has always come easy to me. Ask me to play something by ear, and I'll tell you to give me an hour, a day, or a week, and I'll figure it out! I can't play by ear - but I've always been able to read music, and pick it up pretty quickly.

There's a slowness in my "processing". It's not a physical problem with my hands - not this time anyway. I definitely have slowness and sluggishness in my fingers that have affected my playing, some times more than others (both meds and DBS have made this better). But what's going on now is new and different. I can tell the problem is in my brain - my thinking. My eyes see the notes, but getting that information to the brain and on to the fingers is hitting some snags. I may get two of the four notes, or just hit wrong notes... On one song, I could not play the rhythm right no matter how hard I tried. It's frustrating...and humbling.

I've also noticed that when I play for hymns, or by myself - I really tend to rush, especially if I'm nervous. My hands just feel out of control - I have to intentionally keep slowing them down. I have to constantly keep them in check. I don't understand this one, because usually, PD slows things down...all movement gets slower (paradoxically, you could have things like tremor and dyskinesia, which are extra movements - there are times when I'd give anything to be able to be still!), thinking gets slower, digestion gets slower, voice gets lower, mood and energy level get lower...

But these are all things that can be fought against. I can get on the treadmill and force my legs to move quickly. I can use Wii Fit, and do the stepping program and get my feet moving to the beat - that really does help. I can keep moving and exercising and drink lots of water and eat an "apple a day" to help the insides keep moving along. I can intentionally swing my arms back and forth and make myself take long strides, and walk faster - as I walk from my car to the grocery store. And I can intentionally park far away from the store, to give myself more walking time! I can do my PD exercises as I move about the house, intentionally thinking BIG movements - lift the legs as high as they can go, bend and stretch as far as possible, keep pulling back the shoulders over and over again to keep the posture up... I can intentionally speak LOUDER than I think I need to, because PD softens the voice... I can intentionally exercise my face - make all kinds of faces to get those facial muscles working, so that I'm not wearing that "PD mask" that takes all emotion out of your face and makes you look like you're constantly depressed, angry, or constipated. Well, you might be the last one - but I refuse to stop smiling!

And I can do crossword puzzles, play Wii games, keep homeschooling my kids, do memory puzzles, learn a new language, play more piano, and even practice more sightreading...and maybe gain back some of what I've lost. That's one thing I've learned about PD - things are always changing...but whether it's through medicine, or brain surgery, or exercise, or just plain stubborn determination - sometimes, the changes can be for the better.


I will lift up my eyes to the mountains;
From where shall my help come?
My help comes from the Lord,
Who made heaven and earth.
He will not allow your foot to slip;
He who keeps you will not slumber.
Psalm 121:1-3

"His eye is on the sparrow...and I know He watches me!"